All day I’ve been arguing with myself: maybe you can skip writing today. Maybe it can be 100 Blog Posts in 100 Weekdays. It’s Saturday, after all. Don’t you deserve a break? Why do things you don’t want to do?
It makes me realize how much I balk at consistency in myself… while resenting inconsistency in others.
For example: when I see someone who is vegan or vegetarian eating something outside the bounds of that diet, my brain says, snidely, I thought you said you were vegan. I guess you’re a hypocrite.
Don’t tell anyone that I’m this judgmental, okay!? I never say it out loud, and I never want someone to unsafe doing their thing around me. Thoughts like these are embarrassing and I’m not proud of them, but it’s undeniably true that they come, unbidden, into my mind. When I see inconsistency – someone’s actions not aligning with what they say – it seems like betrayal. Like I’m catching you in a lie.
Consistency is key in online marketing, according to everyone. Email your list, post to social media, update your website or Google will hate you, say the same things to the same people again and again to stay “top of mind” and to “warm your leads.”
But what about when you don’t WANT to?
I’m puzzled other this, because I see it two ways:
- Sometimes you have to do or endure things you don’t want to. Sometimes you have to keep your word, help someone instead of do what you want, meet deadlines, be bad at new things while you learn them, make dentist appointments and go to them, return emails, and on and on.
- But this is my precious life. Why not fill it with doing things I want, and avoiding things I don’t want? Why not say no? Why go to that party where I won’t know anyone when all I want is to curl up with a book and fall asleep early, just because I said I would? Why email my list when I don’t have anything to say? If I can avoid it, why do things that I don’t enjoy or desire?
I started working with a fitness training last month on weight lifting. It is Very. Hard for me. Physically yes, but it’s more difficult mentally and emotionally. Why?
Because I have to make my body do things that are profoundly uncomfortable. My muscles strain and my brain screams that enough is enough, this doesn’t feel good why are you doing this it’s too hard you don’t have to this isn’t enjoyable. I have to force myself onward, because I’m told that showing up consistently is how I will get stronger.
I’m realizing, now as I type this, how deeply I’d decided not to be consistent when I don’t want to. Consistency is masculine, forceful – why should I live that way? In nature there are cycles, just like in female bodies. Why NOT indulge myself when I don’t want to write? Why NOT do seven push-ups instead of eight?
I guess it’s because… you want the long-term results. You want the relationships with the people on your email list, the physical strength, the improvement in your writing. The better world.
