My weight trainer asked me to define “strong.” When I started working with her, my goal was to become strong. What does that mean? she asked.
I will not bore us all with the dictionary definition, because the question on the table is what does strong mean to ME? To YOU?
I was tongue-tied.
“Strong” is one of those words – like “success” or “rich” – that I always define in relativity. My goal with weight training is to become stronger than I am now. The problem with this definition is that it never ends. You could always be more strong, more successful, or more wealthy than you are today.
When am I strong enough? When is it time to switch from striving to maintaining? I ask the same question of other relative words, like success.
What is success?
There is plenty of feel-good, cheery, well-meaning content online about defining success for yourself. It’s a cliche question which is tiresome, but cliches become cliches because they’re true, ya know?
I am not going to tell you to journal out your definition of success, because I am not in the business of telling you what to do. I want to ponder with you.
Here’s what happens to me. Every time I “succeed” at something, a.k.a. I achieve some goal, three things occur:
- I’m thrilled, and simultaneously
- I’m scared, self-doubting and uncertain, and then
- The goal post moves forward
The first thing makes sense, and is delightful to experience. The second comes from limiting beliefs, I’m sure. The third has to be hedonic adaptation – your brain’s ability to adjust to new things to the point that their glamour wears off, and they become ordinary. And ta da! That thing you just achieved feels normal, and you want something else.
Does this happen to you, too?
For driven, ambitious, creative, eager people like you and I, when is enough enough? Will we ever stop wanting to push ourselves? Or not be excited by ideas, and feel energized by working towards new goals?
And/or, is it possible to be satisfied, content, and grateful for what we have… AND excited to try for new things at the same time?
I am sure it is possible – like any muscle that can be stronger, your mind can get better and better at different thought patterns. Perhaps that is the next goal.
