The most existential questions, which are deep and meaningful and important, sound deceptively simple:
- What do you really want?
- What are you here to do?
- Why are you doing this?
When I ask myself these questions, I clam up. The answers seem too broad and cliche in a world full of pressure to stand out and be different and have a “unique value proposition” (don’t you just love industry jargon?):
- What I REALLY want is to enjoy my life, connect with people, make people feel seen and heard, and that ultimate cliche: “make the world a better place.” It sounds nice, but not memorable and certainly not original.
If I’m not a closed clam, then the questions make me panic: what am I here to do? I don’t know – be a kind person!? Make a positive impact? Can I get a multiple choice list, please??
Why am I doing this, running a business to help women with their marketing strategy and thought leadership?!? I don’t know… I just AM. It’s how I make a living, okay!?
Simon Sinek (a contemporary thought leader if there ever was one) gets into this in his seminal TED Talk, Start With Why. People don’t buy what you do, he says. They buy why you do it.
I love this paradigm. It’s galvanizing and inspiring and connecting. But am I the only one who also feels intense pressure?
Be different. Know your why. Tell your why in compelling stories. Stand out from the crowd. Be unique. Be memorable. Be an expert. Speak to pain points. Solve problems. Market yourself with authenticity. Connect meaningfully.
It’s a hefty to-do list, isn’t it?
I know we’re all special snowflakes. We’re made of star-stuff! No two of us are alike, which is mind-boggling. The collage of our experiences, the connections our brain makes between seemingly disparate ideas, the things we like and dislike – all different combinations. So of course we each have a unique why – how could we not?
Yet on a profound, deep, heartfelt level, my sense is that we all want similar things: to feel content with ourselves. To give and receive love and connectedness with other humans. To belong. To help and serve others. To make a difference to others. Really, it all comes down to impact. We want a sense that I was here. I did that. I changed something. I helped her. (The top five regrets of the dying gives pointed insight into this.)
(To feel this yearning for impact via music, look no farther than I Was Here, performed by the one and only Beyoncé.)
How do you bridge the chasm between the deep, heartfelt desire for meaning, impact and belonging that humanity shares, with your unique, one-of-a-kind, never-before-seen self?
