Do you ever see someone’s marketing materials and think to yourself, ew. I would never position myself like that. I’d never publish photos of myself like that. I would never use that phrase. Ew ew ew.
Same here. And it might come from:
- Recognition: this is not for me. It might resonate like crazy with someone else, but it turns me off.
- Opinion: I don’t like this approach the same way I don’t like peas or mushrooms. I don’t care for it because I think the style, quality, or explicit or implicit message is lacking.
- Judgment: this is bad and it’s true that it’s bad and this person is bad for doing it.
The first two are inevitable. It’s discerning to recognize when someone else’s marketing is fine or good or even great but not to your taste. And some marketing you won’t like because it doesn’t resonate with you or align with your values.
But the judgment? That’s where I get stuck. It’s one thing to recognize that so-and-so’s marketing is not for me, or to have the opinion that it’s poor-quality or unimportant or stylistically garish. But when I start to judge so-and-so, and think she’s gone to the dark side. She sold out. She shouldn’t be doing this. What does that say about ME?
What’s wrong with judgment?
Scrolling Instagram (like ya do) today I had the urge to check in on a woman I used to follow. She’s an original in the aspirational online blog space, who offers advice about self-love and self-care and living true to yourself with a lot of vibrant colors and dose of astrology mixed in.
Her brand has evolved (as they do). What used to be quirky photos of unusual outfits have morphed into kneeling poses in bikinis or lingerie, accompanied more often by that sultry parted-lips (what is that mouth-shape called? The one that Victoria’s Secret models tend to have) than smiles.
Do I sound judgmental? I feel judgmental. Why? Who cares what she does?
Well…I care, apparently. (If I didn’t, I’d glance her pictures and move on, not write a blog post about them.) Her pictures look male-gaze-y to me, and I think that’s bad. I see them and think, what attention is she trying to get with that pouty gaze?? I think, ugh, another skinny white girl in her underwear, selling shit.
I’m sure she loves her new photos. Presumably they make her feel proud and powerful and maybe it’s the inner controlling patriarchal Puritan in me that sees them and thinks, ew.
The truth is, judging her makes me uncomfortable.
Recognition and opinion serve YOU. Recognition helps winnow down to a brand, voice and message (position) that is unique to you. That makes you stand out. Opinions make you memorable. They will galvanize the people who resonate with your opinions, helping you become a sought-after expert known for her bold viewpoints. They will turn off the people who disagree, and good riddance.
But judgment? Maybe it comes from internalized oppression, maybe it comes from envy. Anyway, it does not serve.
This post is part of my 100 Blog Posts in 100 Days series. View the rest here.
