When I was growing up we had a huge maple tree in our back yard. And from the maple tree my dad hung a tree swing, one he made out of a long, dark blue rope and a thick plank of wood.
I used to go outside and swing by myself for hours. And while I was swinging, I would daydream.
To this day, daydreaming is one of my favorite pastimes. I think about the books I’m reading, I think about strategies and tactics for clients, I think about friends I want to see or trips I want to take.
And I spend a good amount of time imagining myself as an Instagram influencer, or a New York Times bestselling author, or on the Ellen DeGeneres show, or being interviewed on my favorite podcasts, or riveting an audience of hundreds with my public speaking… you get the idea.
These are fantasies.
And they’re not necessarily serious fantasies.
A business fantasy is a business fallacy
But imagine if I took to Instagram, and the only outcome I wanted was to be an influencer? Or if I hired a podcast booking agency, and the only outcome I accepted would be getting on the shows I follow?
I would be setting myself up for failure. Because no one goes on Instagram and *becomes* an influencer. No, they go on Instagram and publish content. They hire photographers and write content. They use long processes to build their following. You can’t microwave outcomes.
Maybe your long-term goal is to be come an Instagram influencer – that’s cool! But I hope you’ve broken that goal down into small, achievable steps. I hope you actually enjoy Instagram (I don’t). And I hope you have a bigger goal, a WHY, that being an influencer will help you achieve.
It’s so much fun to fantasize – I’m not knocking my favorite pastime. But it’s easy to confuse fantasies with real-life GOALS, and feel like a failure when your fantasy doesn’t become reality as soon as you start trying.
Goals are actually achievable. They are meaningful, ideally in two ways:
- Internally meaningful: this means they’re important because of how achieving the goal will make you feel
- Externally meaningful: this means they’re important because achieving the goal will bring you a concrete benefit, like more traffic to your website or income or connections or opportunities.
One day you may achieve one of your fantasies – it’s happened to me before, and it’s probably happened to you. The things that seem impossible are not impossible. (And I respect the power of visualizing.) But fantasies as goals will set you up to feel like what you’re doing is never enough.
You can be kinder to yourself than that.
This post is part of my 100 Blog Posts in 100 Days series. View the rest here.
