If you do, the soil gets depleted and the crops fail. Instead, you need to rotate your crops and occasionally let your fields lay fallow. This gives your land a chance to rest and replenish. 

Isn’t that lovely? Sensible? Doesn’t it feel… right?

Yet that’s not a rhythm that we’re encouraged to follow culturally. For myriad reasons (outside the scope of this writing), we’re instead encouraged to go go go go GO. Keep producing, building, advancing until you retire. 

Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk says nothing about resting or replenishing. After all, you can “sleep when you’re dead.” 

I object to that sentiment. I bet you do, too. I bet you know and can feel how important it is to rest and replenish, to take breaks, to follow a cyclical ebb and flow with your work and life, rather than pursue relentlessly-paced forward motion. With that in mind…

I’m taking a sabbatical for the rest of 2023. 

I’ll be off work until January 2024. While I’m away, I’ll be learning how to parent a brand-new baby, whom we’re expecting in mid-June. 

The timing of my sabbatical coincides with having my first baby, yes, but this break-from-work has been a long time coming. And whether you foresee a caregiving leave or would like to plan a sabbatical for any host of other excellent reasons, today I’m sharing how I planned this break, what I’ve had to let go, and what will (temporarily) change while I’m gone.

1. Create Redundancy

I’ve known for some time that I wanted to take an extended leave from work. I also knew that I didn’t want to halt my entire business (and income) to take leave. 

So it was clear I needed to build internal capacity in the business if I wanted to take sabbatical. I needed to train other people to do all or most of my responsibilities, so I could take time off and the business would run without me. 

That process has been equal parts gratifying, humbling, frustrating, and ego-checking. 

It’s been gratifying to have other people take the reins on projects and responsibilities. When you work for yourself, you typically start by doing everything. It’s a mental and scheduling relief to share those responsibilities with other people. 

It’s been frustrating to discover that training others on my methods requires painstakingly clear communication, time, repetition, and patience. Anyone who’s trained anyone knows this already, but it was new to me!

I’d built many “processes” within Medusa that were held together with chewing gum and Scotch tape, plus my wits, memory, and ability to make fast decisions. This is a recipe for chaos when it’s time to train other people, so I’ve had to slow down, document my processes, and entrust them to people who aren’t me. 

Lastly, it’s been humbling and ego-checking to recognize that… I’m not that special. Other people are equally capable — if not more capable! — of doing everything at Medusa that I do.

This sent me into a brief and necessary identity crisis: If I’m not uniquely capable of doing XYZ for our clients/the business, then what am I good for? Why do I matter? The invitation amid this discomfort and growth is to discover what my ultimate zone of joy/genius is, and it’s a work-in-progress.

2. Determine what matters 

As I began preparing for my sabbatical, I created a HUGE list of projects I wanted to complete, both before my leave started and for my team to work on while I was away.

Did I mention it was a HUGE list? As my sabbatical start date drew closer, I realized that not only was my list enormous, but it was largely unnecessary. 

This sparked an important eureka moment about priority and focus. It made me realize I/we needed a filter to determine if projects and tasks are fundamental or nice-to-have. Our filter involves four simple questions:

• Is it related to client retention?
• Is it related to sales?
• Is it related to the foundation of the business?
• Is it related to our impact? 

If not, it’s almost guaranteed to be a nice-to-have. For example, I wanted Medusa’s team to review all our old thought leadership blog posts to update imagery, social media posts, and internal links but:

• Was it related to client retention? Nope
• Was it related to sales? Not directly
• Was it related to the foundation of the business? Sort of…
• Was it related to our impact? Sort of…

It would be nice to have our blog posts optimized, but a pass through this filter made me realize it’s not something that will make a substantial difference in our business. For the sake of focus and priority, not to mention simplicity, it makes sense to let this project go. Speaking of…

3. Let go

Woof, letting go. It feels good to have done, but it’s dang hard to do. 

Preparing for my sabbatical has involved multiple layers of letting go:

• Identity/ego (which I talked about above)
• Control 
• Momentum
• Opportunities 
• Growth

Control:

The Medusa team has made great strides in setting up systems and processes for our work. My least favorite part of this learning curve and experience is when we discover cracks and holes in our systems. I do what I can to work with myself and the team to patch those holes and cracks, but once my leave starts I have to let them go. I have to trust Medusa’s team to handle them.

Momentum:

I like to describe my sales strategy as “following up my face off.” I’m accustomed to a lot of forward momentum: pitching myself to podcasts, inviting clients into Medusa’s programs, following up, sending Roundtable invites, following up some more.

So far, the only person at Medusa who keeps the momentum going is me. This is one area where I have not yet created redundancy. (By the next time I take leave, I intend to have created internal capacity so others can keep up some forward momentum.) 

On the other hand, I started all this by talking about the importance of rest and fallow fields. So while it feels risky to let go of this momentum, I’m eager to see how temporarily letting it go will “prime the pump” for when I return full time to work. 

Opportunities:

Argh, opportunity cost! Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)! I grapple with those regularly. There is an opportunity cost to taking a sabbatical. There are clients, speaking invitations, networking events and more that, by nature of not working, you’re letting go. I have faith in the open window — I know from experience and observation that new opportunities are always coming — but still! It feels counterintuitive to refuse opportunities!

Growth:

Thanks to Medusa’s team and clients, we will keep delivering superb thought leadership content on behalf of our private thought leader advisory clients while I’m away. This makes me so proud and grateful, both for Medusa’s team (and all they’ve learned), Medusa’s clients (and their trust in us), and in my past self (for building that internal capacity and forging those relationships!).

And, because I won’t be doing my job of forward momentum and sales while I’m off, the company won’t grow this year — at least not in the revenues department. In fact, I’ve chosen to take a pay cut during my sabbatical, to ensure we have plenty in our coffers. 

I’m fortunate to be able to take a pay cut. I’m married to someone with a salaried job and health insurance; I have savings that will support me; and I was able to build my savings thanks to not having debt. 

I’d prefer not to take a pay cut. I’d prefer to have a business model and internal capacity that would allow our revenue to stay steady, even while I’m off work. But, that’s not where we are right now — and it’s my job to make peace with that.

What will (temporarily) change during sabbatical

In the spirit of our filter and letting go, some of Medusa’s “regularly scheduled programming” will pause during my sabbatical. I won’t be sending weekly emails while I’m away. And I won’t be writing new blog articles, posting on LinkedIn, publishing Client Impact Reports, or working with new clients until 2024. Eek! 

Of all I’m letting go during sabbatical, no new clients and no weekly emails makes me the most nervous. They bring up fears like, am I letting you down? Will you be offended or forget about me? Be disappointed? When I start emailing again, how many of you will realize you didn’t miss me, and unsubscribe? When I start working with clients again, how many of you will have hired someone else in the meantime?

Taking a break like this flies in the face of many business and marketing best-practices (including some I agree with): consistency, proactive communication, staying “top-of-mind”. These are valid and effective. And…

I’m excited to see what opportunities and perspectives a long break reveals. After all, a fallow field gets the chance to replenish itself, soak in nutrients, and prepare for an abundant future harvest. 

(Caveat: I will send emails to my delightful email list if and when the spirit moves me! Other parents have told me they missed work while on parental leave, and I’m glad to have the option to work here and there as I desire. I also intend to send a picture of my baby to my list and you can join the list here.)

What will not change during sabbatical

We will continue serving our private thought leader clients, as mentioned above. My colleague Nicki will helm the Medusa ship while I’m away, managing client content and hosting advisory meetings. She’ll also provide details about our group programs Exponential Influence and Micro Marketing Method (Mx3), which I will be leading again in 2024. 

If you’re interested in either of those programs, check out the program pages linked above and make sure to submit your application. We’re super-early-bird enrolling qualified women in our thought leader program Exponential Influence this year, and there are some bonuses for early enrollment. Once you submit your application for either program, Nicki will reach out with details about next steps.

When I come back from sabbatical

When I return from leave in January 2024, I’m extremely excited to share original research on women and professional authority. I’m preparing this research project now, before I start sabbatical, and Medusa’s team will support it with follow up while I’m away.

I also look forward to emailing my list again, to enrolling women thought leaders in our programs, and to just… being back! I love my work and I derive so much pride and pleasure from my connections with fellow women thought leaders. I’m eager to see what new ideas and inspiration I bring to the table, after spending seven months focused on something very different from work!

I’ll conclude with the acknowledgement that I’m fortunate to be able to take a break. I’m grateful to my past self for providing me the means. Credit also goes to the many social privileges I have but didn’t earn — those too impact my ability to take leave.

I’m extremely excited and grateful, and hecking nervous. I’ve never taken a sabbatical before! I’ve never separated from my business for more than a few weeks of vacation. What will happen!? How will I feel? What new perspectives will come from this separation? What will I see when I look at my work with new eyes? 

I can’t wait to find out.

If you liked this article, share it LinkedIn! Copy/paste below:

Have you ever taken a sabbatical?

In this article, thought leader trainer and advisor @Eva Jannotta shares how she planned her sabbatical, including what she had to build, let go, and risks she had to grapple with. Eva’s sabbatical is timed for a maternity leave, but her thinking and experience applies to anyone planning an extended leave from self-employment: https://medusamediagroup.com/business/how-this-thought-leader-is-taking-sabbatical/

The post How this Thought Leader is Taking a Sabbatical appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

It’s going… well, it’s going, which was my goal. I’ve written every day since March 25th. Some days I’ve been surprised at the ideas and analysis that come out of my writing. Most days I think to myself, “this is stupid. And not helpful to anyone. What’s the point of posting this?”

THE POINT, I remind myself, it to prove to yourself that you can be like Seth Godin. It’s to commit to yourself to developing your ideas. It’s to see what insights you have hidden inside, and to practice boldly sharing your opinions.

Out of 50 posts so far, I’m pretty dang happy with nine of them:

1. 3: You Can’t Microwave Outcomes (this is what happened after I published on Medium)
2. 11: Enough with the Advice Economy
3. 16: Is Your Pricing Manipulative?
4. 17: 10 Networking Questions to Ask Before “So What Do You Do?”
5. 19: I’ll Have the Opposite of What She’s Having
6. 30: The Fallacy of Fearlessness
7. 31: WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN the Difference Between Strategy and Tactics??
8. 34: Three Reasons I Was Scared (Not “Anxious” or “Stressed”)
9. 42: You Can Claim Any Title or Position You Desire

Nineteen percent of my blog posts (thus far) are ideas and opinions I am proud of and want to explore further.

Nine ideas that could become Medium posts, longer-form articles, videos, quotes tiles, and more.

These ideas, some of which are strong (ish! They could probably be stronger!) opinions, may prove to attract people to me… or repel people away.

The post 50: Whoooaaa, We’re Halfway There! (To Writing 100 Blog Posts in 100 Days) appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

I hired a coach to help me work through a vulnerable situation with a colleague.

As soon as I hired her, I felt knots in my stomach in anticipation of the discussion with my colleague…even though hiring the coach was a totally safe opportunity to prepare for the discussion.

After my coach and I talked, I felt sick with tension and nerves in anticipation of the discussion with my colleague. Even though I know I’ll survive the discussion, even though I know it’s not happening yet and there’s nothing to freak out about, my mind kept returning to it over and over.

I kept thinking half-formed thoughts about what my colleague might say, or think, or say behind my back. My imagination went wild picturing how I will feel, how I might stumble over my words or say the wrong thing.

As soon as I woke up the day after coaching, my mind went RIGHT back to worrying.

And I realized it’s a familiar cycle.

I felt sick with fear after I wrote a snail-mail letter to a woman I admired, asking if I could attend her event for a trade (I never heard back from her). My body felt hot, my stomach in knots, after I emailed someone out of the blue to ask for insights into her business development (she wrote me a lovely response).

One time I went on Facebook Live from my personal profile instead of my business page, and was joined by an old college friend, my ex-boyfriend, his wife, and a few others. It was mortifying, and I thought about it and cringed over and over the rest of the day.

It’s like my mind needs 24 hours to freak the fuck out. To be scared, scared, scared. And then it gets tired of the panic. It gets used to the idea that we’re pushing our own boundaries.

I bet this will keep happening. When you market a new idea, when you ask for more, when you say no to something big, your inner system goes haywire. What each of these experiences remind me is to view inner-haywiring is a green light.

Image by Carlos Alberto Gómez Iñiguez.

The post 37: My Mind Needs 24 Hours to Freak the Fuck Out appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

There are many moments during the day when there’s so much to worry about and so much to do. But then I see the sunset, or the exuberant bougainvillea that grows all over Phoenix, or Steve smiling, and I think… maybe I’ve got this worry-to-do-list thing backwards.

So I return to an ongoing debate: can I make progress without anxiety? Can I fulfill my responsibilities excellently without worrying that I’m doing something wrong? Is it possible to negotiate or ask for what I want or say no without feeling dependent on the response?

Many a successful woman has said that her best practice is her gratitude list. I believe her: your thoughts become your words become your actions become your habits become your values become your destiny, Gandhi said (who am I to disagree with Gandhi??).

Besides, how could spending time being intentionally, thoughtfully grateful every day NOT be good? I think I need at least an hour of that every day to counterbalance the incessant worry.

BUT I LIKE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY, so instead of a gratitude list I’m making a Signs of Affirmation List. Except yuck, I don’t like that title. Signals of Validation List? No, that sounds sterile.

Good Signs:

1. When I told my client that I was taking a day off, she didn’t say she hated me (I get SO hung up on taking time off. Why??)
2. The sunset. Anything that beautiful is a good sign.
3. A “yes from a new acquaintance to be on my Facebook Live Marketing Show
4. A connection acceptance from a prestigious woman on LinkedIn – AND she viewed my profile! (I messaged her and I hope she responds, but let’s NOT be dependent on that, Eva!)
5. Good ROI for the goals – reach and link clicks – on a new Facebook Ads strategy I’m testing for a client
6. A client asked me to do something I already planned and scheduled to do. A sign that we’re on the same page and I’m handling tasks for her so she doesn’t have to worry.
7. The fact that I’m writing here every dang day (today is 25% through 100 Blog Posts in 100 Days!). Quite a sign and statement that writing is important and that I’m brave enough to experiment.
8. A few people told me they liked my articles, which means a LOT because I haven’t been promoting them much at all.
9. I gained four pounds in the past few weeks – a positive sign for my power building ventures. I’ve been eating WAY more calories and protein, and things are happening!
10. My client loved the tweak I suggested for one of her tweets. It’s a simple thing, but her enthusiasm and gratitude made me so glad.
11. Steve asked me a very thought-provoking question about my work – one that has given me a lot to think about. It’s a sign that I’m maturing as a businesswoman.
12. My sweet friend Sarah sent me Marlee Grace’s book. Reading it is very affirming of the way I want to write, work, and build my business.

It’s different than writing a gratitude list. Gratitude is amazing – so humbling and grounding – and when you stop to think about it, you can feel gratitude for just about everything.

But I like how it feels to actively look for signs. It’s like when you’re in the airport and you’re scanning for the right gate, and when you see the sign for Terminal C Gates 1-17 there’s a burst of relief and satisfaction: I’m in the right place. I know where to go next. I can get where I want to go.

Perhaps an antidote to worry, to that overwhelming urge to DO, is to scan your reality for the positive feedback that what you’ve done already is great.

The post 25: Finding Good Signs appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

Well. BullCon17 was like that.

What Made BullCon17 Incredible

It was my third year attending the conference, and this year’s conference blew. it. out. of. the. park. Not only because it was in a beautiful hotel (who knew the Embassy Row in Dupont Circle was decorated in a turquoise, yellow and silver palette with contemporary-but-not-showy geometric patterns and inviting spaces to linger in and furniture that was appealing rather than overstuffed!?). Or because sessions were diverse, fascinating and actionable. Or even the fact that the weather happened to be beautiful for November in DC. It was all of those things AAAAAAND… the people.

Oh, the people! Nearly 100 incredible, ambitious, interesting, feminist career women who are so cool and supportive and enthusiastic and helpful. I could go on, but that’s enough adjectives to get my point across.

I already credit BullCon with introducing me to a close friend (hi Sarah!). For two years of conferences, one great friend is good ROI. And this year I met so many people I want to befriend! Not to mention all the women who offered to help me with my career, answer my questions, and be accountability partners.

But back to the content. This year’s conference offered several thematic tracks, including Slay at Work, Side Hustle Sisterhood, and Personal Development Powerhouse. I love having options, although so many of the sessions sounded great that I wanted to be in two places at once almost the whole time. Below are my favorite takeaways from the sessions I attended (and a few that I didn’t):

BullCon17 Roundup: Notes, Ideas, Quotes, Memes

How YOU Can Help Create Gender Equality in the Workplace and Further Your Career at the Same Time – Romy Newman

Romy shared a TON of graphs and studies about how having women at ALL levels in all companies makes LITERALLY EVERYTHING BETTER.

• Favorite quote: “Should you put a woman in charge? Only if you want record revenue.” – Romy Newman
• Favorite suggestion: get thee a personal Board of Directors for your career. #OnIt

How to Recover After Life Punches You in the Face – Mariah MacCarthy

Somehow I took no notes on this session. Because I was too riveted. I loved the crowdshare that happened after Mariah’s presentation. We talked ways to prepare for challenging life events like having a baby, and ways to support others during challenging times:

• Prepare: make a list of all your household chores, grocery list, favorite pizza order, and anything else you can think of before you have/adopt a baby (or experience another life-changing event). That way, when people offer to help, you can tell them to pick something off the list.
• Prepare: if asking for help is hard for you – or if you don’t have the energy to manage your helpers – appoint a friend or relative to be your Help Coordinator.
• Support: of course you want to help if someone is going through a challenging time. But the last thing they need is to micromanage you. Instead of asking “what can I do,” offer to do specific things: “I’m going to the store to get stuff for dinner. May I come over and make it at your place?”

You Already Have Your First Client You Just Don’t Know It – Ijeoma Nwatu Enemanna

What I LOVED hearing about this session is that Ijeoma asked attendees to think about the skills they have to offer, then actually offer them. 

One woman shared how she wrote a template email about her resume and cover-letting reviewing skills and sent it to several friends asking them for referrals and sharing her prices. I AM GOING TO DO THIS.

You’ve Got This – Practical Advice For New Managers – Caro Griffin

Part of the fun of this workshop was commiserating about the terrible managers we’ve all had in the past. But it wasn’t just kvetching: we discussed how crucial it is to make expectations clear; that you must be willing to do your employees’ jobs sometimes (don’t delegate all the shitty stuff); invest in on-boarding; don’t hire yourself; and 1-on-1’s are invaluable (and you must take notes during them!).

Caro shared great managing resources including Lara Hogan and Cate Huston’s blogs. She also urged us to build a “management squad” – i.e. a group of professionals you can go to with your management questions and concerns.

I’d like to have a squad for all my endeavors.

Entrepreneurship, Freelance and Side Hustle Q&A, Jennifer Dziura

I didn’t attend this Q&A but as a #JenDziuraFangirl I wasn’t surprised to hear that it was excellent. Jen reviewed the concepts she shares in one of my FAVORITE GetBullish articles, The Best Business Strategy is the One That Makes You Money. I reread this article at least twice a year.

This gem of a quote came out of the session, and of course it turned into a meme.

Investing Like a Badass – Lillian Karabaic

Lillian’s presentation was great because she built in time to deal with any financially-related-panic in the room, of which there was plenty. I loved how she explained the ins and outs of investing in a way that was simple and not-intimidating. It turns out that Lillian is also a Mustachian, so no wonder I liked her presentation!

I’ve downloaded 4 episodes of her podcast, Oh My Dollar! And now I want to ask her like seventeen questions.

From “Token” to “Asset”, How to use being different to your advantage – Janice Omadeke

Janice is a friend and I had so much fun seeing her at the conference. I didn’t attend her session but I heard these notes, which I love. Solid career advice:

• Dig into something boring
• Become an expert at it
• Become indispensable

Also: Create an elevator pitch for what you do for the company (so when you’re in the elevator with someone from the C-suite, you can speak confidently about the value you bring to the company).

Side Hustle Queens – Starting and Balancing your Side Hustle and Life – Jasmine Smith, Chianti Lomax, and Dominique Broadway

Attendees of this session shared a great point from these women: “focus on sales or marketing instead of making things pretty.”

(Hi Jasmine! It was so fun to see you at the conference!)

How to Write the Best Goddamn Interoffice Memo the World Has Ever Seen – Kathryne Dunlap

THIS SESSION WAS SO GREAT. At first I thought “hmmm?” because I don’t work in an office, but Kathryne completely sold me on the value of quantifying what you do visually, through infographics.

She also reminded us to record our accomplishments more than semi-annually. Duh. But I needed that reminder.

Go here for enjoyable advice about lying.

Tools, Systems and Processes: a quietly profane, rambling ode to keep as little stuff as possible in your head because you might get hit by a bus or just not want to think about it – Emily Chapman

This session was fun, funny, and practical. From password managers to Google Calendar to Text Expander to BeeMinder, Emily and the room shared tons of resources and ideas for how to use tech to improve your life.

• (Example: apparently you can set up a Zap so that when you include a certain hashtag in an Instagram post, the picture is automatically emailed to your parents!)

I plan to write more thoroughly on this topic, but suffice to say it made me much more excited about apps than I usually am.

Emily also gets credit for introducing me to WordSwag, a terrific app for creating quote memes for Instagram. #Obsessed

Energizing, Inspiring, and Actionable

In addition to all the reasons above, BullCon17 also gets my appreciation for the pacing. There was a balance of sessions, socializing, and downtime built in to the weekend. I was able to get to know lots of women, listen to dynamic speakers, and spend time alone between sessions to recharge.

The speakers were diverse in background, experience, and expertise. I got SO MANY ideas and inspiration for my home life to my professional life to my reading life to my exercise life to my social life. And best of all, these ideas aren’t intimidating or overwhelming!

Everything I learned feels doable. There was a lack of posturing at this conference. The women I met were an appealing blend of confident in their skills and sincere about their learning curves and their next steps. They were warm, friendly, and appropriately irreverent.

I’m proud that I attended the first BullCon in 2013, and I’ve been on an odd-year rotation since then. But this year’s conference was so great that I might just break my rhythm and show up at Palm Springs for BullCon18.

The post A Conference for the Fierce of Heart, Mind, and Career: BullCon17 Recap appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

Sometimes you come across something – an article, a person, an idea, a place – and you have no idea how important it will be to you later. Something influential could be around every corner – you never know! At the time, it’s just another thing. But in hindsight, you can see the impact that thing had on your life. This is about one of those things.

In 2011, I had no plans to start my own company. I was in college and focused on writing a thesis, swing dancing, and generally being in denial about impending Real Adulthood. It was around that time that I started reading Get Bullish.

Get Bullish was a career and life advice column authored by Jennifer Dziura, and published on The Grindstone and The Gloss. The topics Jen covered ranged from salary negotiation to break ups to spending free time enjoyably. The thread through these topics was this: practical, direct, actionable ideas and zero bullshit. And critically, an emphasis on how to use social privilege to make [insert what you care about here] better.

Four years later, I did start my own company. I had no plan, but I did have determination (with a dose of desperation), not much to lose, and Get Bullish.

Since it started as an advice column, Get Bullish has grown into a powerful community with multiple entry points. There are physical products touting feminist values, educational products for productivity and planning, a membership society, a conference, not to mention tons (and tons) of free articles full of no-nonsense good ideas. Get Bullish will help you run a business, build and navigate a career, self-advocate, and ask for what you want. But equally, if not more importantly, it will connect you with people. People whose values align with yours. People who will challenge you and call you out and push your comfort zones. Such connections are worth more than words can express – but the inimitable Brené Brown does a good job: “by the time you’re a social worker for ten years, what you realize is that connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it’s all about.”

[bctt tweet=”The best thing you can do for yourself, your career, and your life is to join communities.”] Whether that’s your neighborhood civic association, local Chamber of Commerce, or a powerhouse like Get Bullish, do yourself a huge favor by seeking out groups and becoming a part of them. Here are concrete examples of how the Get Bullish community changed my life:

Get Bullish: the People

1. Friends: I reached out to the Get Bullish Facebook group to connect with other local readers. We met up at Busboys & Poets. A few years later, these women have become close friends with whom I talk weekly (Sarah Dale, I’m looking at you!).
2. Clients: after meeting at BullCon15, the aforementioned friend hired me to run her communications. She introduced me to her husband, and I built an Instagram following for his company. She introduced me to her friend, Lisa Lewis, another Get Bullish reader who has become a good friend and recently referred me two prospective clothing clients, Maia Moda and Cotton Canary.
3. Strategic partners: Lauren Orsini, a Bullish WordPress developer, has become an invaluable consultant for my own learning and for referring clients who need website support.
4. Expert advice: during a vulnerable point in my career, I wrote to Jen and received a quick response with thoughtful, understanding, and practical suggestions. Thank you, Jen!
5. Community advice: the Facebook group and Society provide forums to ask questions, vet ideas, and get feedback. I am thankful to the many women who comment back when I ask a question or solicit advice.
6. Connections: the thought leaders and inspiring women I have met through Get Bullish is a list that keeps growing –  Laura Vanderkam, Jen Ashley Wright, Tonya Rapley, Jasmine Smith, Carrie Goldberg, and more.

Get Bullish: the Resources

1. My favorite podcast: Jen was interviewed by Sarah Starrs on her podcast, The Girl Gang Conversations. The podcast has since become one of the few I look forward to and listen to regularly. (Sarah and I have also connected via email and Skype, which is cool.)
2. Templates: I have visited Jen’s 6 Important Business Email Templates again and again, and have adapted some for my own use.
3. Language: from Bullish: Seven Sentences To Boost Your Career (and Life) to Bullish Life: How to Communicate with Chutzpah, Get Bullish has made me a more effective and confident communicator.
4. Pitching: the Get Bullish Society did a 30 day pitching challenge last fall. It formed the basis of the pitch I write to sustainable clothing brands, and gave me resources and confidence to make the ask.

Value that can’t be measured

The resources and people I’ve connected with through Get Bullish have a tangible impact on my life. But the actual value of those friendships and connections is hard to measure. Another less tangible, but no less critical, impact of Get Bullish is confidence. The confidence to ask for what you want. The confidence that you’re worth being paid well. The confidence that you can create and learn pretty much anything.

Get Bullish has broadened my professional, social, and mental horizons. It’s hard to do what you can’t imagine, or you haven’t seen others do before you. Being a part of Get Bullish exposes you to binders full of women doing unapologetic, game-changing activities from morning until night. The best thing you can do for your business and life is to join such a community. It will change you. For the greater.

A couple of Jen’s articles that I revisit again and again:

“The only thing that is actually literally essential to having a business is that someone pays you money for something. If you’re feeling a little intimidated by the process of starting a business, it’s nice to just focus on one thing. Figure out something that people want to pay for, right now, without you having to pull metaphorical teeth. Then do or make the thing and get the money. Use the money for the other stuff, as needed.” – The Best Business Strategy Is the One That Makes You Money

“Let me be clear: there are some men who are pretty good feminists who don’t really call themselves that. There are some men who call themselves feminists only because they like women having the individual liberty to have sex with them. I’m talking about—if you’re into men—only getting together with men who 1) recognize structural oppression of all kinds, and 2) believe in actively dismantling it…. Getting together with a “nice guy” is not good enough. I’m deadly serious.”- Secrets of a #Bossbitch: On Parenthood, Marriage, and Leaning In 

“If you are my work-friend, and then you try to dick me over in a negotiation “just to see if you can,” or “because that’s how the game is played,”  here is what will happen. I will continue to be polite to you, because I am a professional…. And I will never, ever forget that you were friendly to my face and then tried to get me to do a job for less than I’m worth, or tried to get me to do your work for you.” – Bullish: What Men Need to Know About Negotiating With Women

Has Get Bullish impacted your life? What communities are you a part of that have? Share in the comments!

(photo taken at BullCon15)

The post The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Business appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

We are always thinking: assessing, reflecting, and planning around the circumstances of our lives. If we have high standards for ourselves, the character of our thoughts can be pretty negative. I strive to reach a certain level of productivity and to make certain progress every day. I’m hard on myself when I fall short. I berate myself, or simply feel bad, if I don’t finish my to-do list in a day.

The truth is that I’m not always kind to myself. I don’t treat myself the way I would a best friend. Can you relate? I hardly realized that my self-treatment had taken such a negative turn until I read “Don’t beat yourself up,” an essay on self-compassion by Mark Leary.

Since starting my business, the amount of pressure I feel to succeed has skyrocketed. At the same time, I’ve forgotten to be open-minded about how my business unfolds. Entrepreneurs carry a lot of responsibility on our shoulders. We are accountable for every facet of our business. If something goes awry, we must resolve it from start to finish. For fear of screwing up, we may hold ourselves to unrealistic or impossible standards. Instead of meeting the pressure and our performance with self-compassion, we can become rigid. Are you hard on yourself?

Self-compassion is not the same as self-esteem

In Leary’’s words,

“Self esteem has long be lauded as the ticket to a happy, healthy life. We’ve read about it often, particularly in the realm of childrearing and teenagers. It means to think well or highly of ourselves. But studies have found that it is much less related happiness than originally thought. Rather self esteem is likely to come because of success or achievement, rather than lead to accomplishments…. That is, the difference lies not so much in how people evaluate themselves (their self-esteem) but rather in how they treat themselves (their self-compassion).”

It makes sense: I feel good when I achieve something that I worked toward. My self-esteem is correlated with my success. Though I evaluate my ideas well at their inception, I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment as I see the difference they make in my clients’ lives. As I sell the services and assess their usefulness, I can improve. How I evaluate what I do will change as I help more people and become better at my profession.

Of course, it’s good to evaluate ourselves as good and worthy people, with confidence that we can contribute to others. That level of self-esteem is helpful. But thinking that we are good and worthy is different than treating ourselves as though we are good and worthy. Often, we treat ourselves quite harshly, and berate ourselves for making mistakes or not getting things done.

Yet treating yourself well is a far cry from relentless positive thinking or forced good cheer. Treating yourself with kindness requires honesty: being honest when we’ve made an error, and doing our best to fix it. It does not mean pretending everything is fine all the time. But good treatment does not extend into endless mean-spirited chatter. As Leary puts it, “self-compassion is based on wanting the best for oneself.“ Who would argue with that?

How we treat ourselves

Leary points out that,

“In an odd sort of way, these people [who push and berate themselves] are rather mean to themselves, treating themselves far more harshly than they treat other people. However, we all also know people who take a kinder and gentler approach to themselves. They might not always be happy with themselves, but they accept the fact that everyone has shortcomings and problems, and don’t criticise and condemn themselves unnecessarily for the normal problems of everyday life.”

Self-compassion is a way to treat ourselves. Would you ever say to a friend anything close to the kind of self-flagellation you mentally dish out to yourself? When we don’t practice self-compassion we are doing exactly that: beating ourselves when we’re down. How do you want your family, coach, and friends to treat you? With support, empathy, encouragement, and feedback. All delivered kindly, gently, or sometimes, insistently. While building and running businesses, we can be a best friend to ourselves. The magic is that this has little to do with how well we think we’re doing. As we make mistakes or our business fails, we can still be compassionate to ourselves. A good friend offers consistent support.

Are you trying to fuel your success by being hard on yourself? Next time something does not go as planned, pretend the situation happened to a friend. Imagine that you are comforting them. You don’t have to pretend to be happy about what happened, but you can remind your “friend” that mistakes happen. It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person.

It is good to reflect on situations that don’t go well, and consider how to avoid them in the future. If a friend is experiencing a challenge, we help them process the situation by discussing what led up to it, how it was handled in the moment, and how to make amends afterwards. Reflecting and learning from our decisions is how we improve and succeed. But instead of being compassionate with ourselves, many of us take this stage too far, and stew in guilt and shame. We do ourselves a better service by forgiving ourselves for making mistakes. No one is perfect.

How to practice self-compassion

Like many of the good things in life, learning to be compassionate to oneself is simple. Simple, but not easy. Here is how you can try it at home:

1. Notice instances when you are not being nice to yourself. When you make a mistake or lose a client or something goes not-as-planned, pay attention to the thoughts running through your mind. Write them down.
2. Ask yourself why. I find it helpful to do this out loud or on paper. Why do I think losing a client means I’m a failure? Remember to think of yourself as a friend. If you were telling a friend that she is a failure and she asked why, what would you say?
3. When things don’t go the way you hope, remember that you are not alone in your struggle. As Leary says, “when bad things happen or you behave in a less-than-desirable way, remind yourself that everyone fails, misbehaves, is rejected, experiences loss, is humiliated, and experiences myriad negative events.” You are in good company.

Sometimes you may need to practice meta-self-compassion: be kind to yourself about how hard it is to be kind to yourself. You may be breaking years, if not decades, of a habit of being mean to yourself. It will take more than a few days to turn that self-talk around. When you notice that you are being hard on yourself, don’t be harder! Instead, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, just like you.

Your business, your clients, your family and your friends all benefit from a kinder, gentler, more patient version of you. Compassion perpetuates itself: as you practice and model it, you will have more of it to offer your clients and community. The kinder you are to yourself, the better you will feel. The better you feel, the more you have to give. This leads you to success – and not just the kind of success that is measured in money or accolades, but the kind of success that is internal: a relationship with yourself that is supportive, motivating, and compassionate. The ups and downs that life brings will be easier to face when YOU are a best friend to yourself.

(photo by Sam Czeh)

The post How do you treat yourself? Self-compassion for success appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

On June 30th, I woke up at 3:45 AM. I ambled into the kitchen and drank a glass of water, then I savored a slice of cherry pie with yogurt. Then I drank more water. At 4:15 AM, I went back to my room, kneeled on the floor, and prayed:

Today I pray to be present and focused with my clients, and grateful for all the gifts in my life.. Please help me remember to be a giver and a contribution to my clients’ businesses. Help me to listen well and speak honestly. Thank you for bringing me to this moment, and for the opportunity to fast. I have so much to be grateful for.

For the past seven years, I look forward with a mix of anticipation and dread to my day of fast during Ramadan. I love this tradition, one facilitated by a dear friend whose open-armed welcome into her religion and home has always meant the world to me. Every year, my “Ramadan Day” is a chance to pause and bring a unique level of self-awareness and consciousness to my life. The features of the fast change my day markedly, and never fail to let me see things in a different light.

The day is long!

The first thing I notice is how expansive the day feels! Without the structure of planning meals, the entire day feels like an open book. I realize how much mental energy I spend on food: deciding what I will eat, making time to prepare it, taking time to eat it. Every year, fasting makes me aware of how long the day is, and how many different things I can do instead of eating.

You know how going on vacation gives you perspective on your day-to-day life? Something about the change of scenery and the lack of your usual routine makes the world brim with possibility. It can make you rethink your patterns, and realize that a daily walk, a lingering breakfast, and dinners out would add more joy to your “regular life.” A differently structured day is like that, too. Particularly when it has to do with something as integral as food. The absence of meals reminds me that as an entrepreneur, I have flexibility in how I plan my days. If fasting makes my day feel open, what other choices can I make to bring expansiveness to my workdays? My friend always smiles when I mention this – for her, after fasting for a month every year for years, the absence of meals feels normal. But for me, it’s transformative.

Be aware of your mouth

Fasting for Ramadan involves more than not letting food or water cross your lips. Smoking is also prohibited, as well as swearing, gossiping, or saying unkind things about other people. I’m not sure if complaining is among the prohibited activities, but it is for me! My fast makes me notice how often I complain.

Sometimes it’s helpful to voice negative emotions to others, or to verbally process a challenging situation. However, my complaining is not always accompanied by action. Sometimes I whine without a willingness to make changes that will improve the situation. As a businesswoman, I think this is lazy. While it’s important to take time to mull things over, it’s equally important to take action on the topic of complaint. If you decide to let it be, then the action is to stop complaining and start reassessing the situation! Fasting makes me very aware of my tendency to complain about things, but not to fix them. In my work, I answer to myself and to my clients. If I have a problem with any of us, it’s my responsibility to approach the situation with compassion and to take steps to make it better.

Take time to “pray”

By far one of my favorite parts of “Ramadan Day” is adopting the Islamic pillar of salat, or praying five times in a day. As an agnostic, “prayer” is an open concept. Some of my favorites are the Serenity Prayer and the Shehecheyanu, but usually I simply take several moments to be still in my room and reflect on how I’m doing. Often I will think about things I am grateful for. This year, I focused on my personal and professional goals as well:

Find clarity on your goals

It’s been a struggle to identify my business goals. I have many ideas and my energy flits from one topic to another. Business advice everywhere is to “pick a niche, identify my ideal clients, and design my business to appeal to them.” It is sound advice, but hard to follow. While I prayed during Ramadan, I focused on broad goals. What do I want to evoke in other people, in my life? I want to contribute something meaningful and positive. I want to give. I want to help people. I want to connect. Pausing five times during the day gave me opportunities to refocus on the Big Picture. Is what I’m doing contributing? Help me to give generously to my clients; help me to contribute to their businesses; help me to be honest when I don’t know the answer; help me to keep learning and growing my business.

Fasting is for everyone

Fasting is as old as the hills, found in many religious and spiritual practices historically and worldwide. Every year I am glad (if thirsty!) to interrupt my life with this ancient tradition. It heightens awareness of my daily structures and my thought patterns. It reminds me to be grateful for what I have. It shows me how I can be better to myself, my community, my clients. After this year’s fast, I started adopting the concept of salat into my daily life. Pausing five times each day to focus on my goals and feel gratitude for my blessings makes me a better person and a better businesswoman. I’m hopeful that I will keep this practice in the coming year.

(Belated) Eid Mubarak!

The post How Fasting in Ramadan is Good for Business (and Life) appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

As I’ve built my business over the past ten months, my mood towards these endeavors has run the gamut from fear and loathing to disbelief to excitement, pride, and joy. These dramatic contrasts happen over days, hours, or even minutes. It feels insane – how can thoughts and feelings about something completely oppose each other so quickly? How can I rely on what I feel if it changes all the time?

“Don’t ignore your feelings” is good advice. Notice them, for your feelings can indicate where you need to take action to live a life that aligns with your values and goals. But be skeptical of them, too. Feelings are so diverse that they can’t all mean something, not in the sense that they are all a roadmap for how to live.

I recently read How To Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton. Though the title is ambiguous, the book is excellent, covering many topics related to sexuality and relationships. The following passages stood out:

“Such a re-evaluation [of the institution of romantic marriage] may be prompted by an awareness of how chaotic and misleading our feelings can be. We may, for example, see an attractive face at a street crossing and want to turn our life upside down as a result. When a tempting person with whom we have been having an erotic exchange in an internet chat room suggests a meeting at an airport hotel, we may be tempted to blow up our life in favour of a few hours’ pleasure. There are times when we feel sufficiently angry with our spouse that we would be happy to see him or her knocked down by a car; but ten minutes later, we may be reminded that we would die rather than go on alone. During the longueurs of weekends, we may be desperate for our children to grow up, lose their interest in trampolining and leave us alone for ever so that we can read a magazine for once, and enjoy a tidy living room – and then a day later, at the office, we may want to howl with grief because a meeting looks like it’s going to overrun and we realize we’ll miss out on putting them to bed.

The defenders of feeling-based marriage venerate emotions for their sincerity and authenticity, but they are able to do so only because they avoid looking too closely at what actually floats through most people’s emotional kaleidoscopes in any given period: all the contradictory, sentimental and hormonal forces that pull us in a hundred often crazed and inconclusive directions. To honor every one of our emotions would be to annul any chance of leading a coherent life. We could not be fulfilled if we weren’t inauthentic some of the time, perhaps even a lot of it – inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires to throttle our children, poison our spouse or end our marriage over a dispute about changing a light bulb.

Romanticism highlighted the perils of inauthenticity, but we will face no fewer dangers if we attempt always to bring our outer life into line with our inner one. It is giving our feelings too great a weight to want them to be lodestars by which the major projects of our lives may be guided. We are chaotic chemical propositions, in dire need of basic principles that we can adhere to during our brief rational spells. We should feel grateful for, and protected by, the knowledge that our external circumstances are often out of line with what we feel; it is a sign that are probably on the right course.”*

These examples of how irrational and fleeting feelings can be illustrates what I sometimes forget to remember: feelings are something, but they are not everything. You don’t have to do anything based on them, and you may want to ignore them sometimes.

*I neglected to note the page numbers. Apologies to Alain de Botton!

(image taken by Mat McIntyre.)

The post You Don’t Have To Listen To Your Feelings appeared first on Medusa Media Group.

Lesson 2 of the course is choose a focus – one of the great hurdles in creating a good blog. Rather than writing about everything under the sun, finding a niche develops your expertise, clarifies themes that readers can identify, and determines what to write. The homework for Lesson 2 was straightforward: “narrow your list of topics to 10 items or less and feature your new list of categories in your sidebar.”

But what if you’re passionate about many disparate topics?  I posed this and other questions to the badass Babes community.

When You’re Passionate about 164,743,765 things: 

Sarah’s lesson asks us to consider which topics we enjoy writing most, our readers enjoy reading most, we have the most ideas for, and are shared most on social media. These are great questions to ask and ask again. But if you don’t have many readers or social shares, or if you have lots of ideas on lots of topics, you may need more help.

The Badass Babes recommended “What to Do When You Have ‘Too Many’ Topics to Blog About or Teach” by Regina. It’s an excellent video. Regina says, “sometimes we’re only passionate about our ideas in theory–it’s like that guy/gal you have a crush on that you don’t even know.” Her advice on how to niche down is practical and effective.

Categories vs. Tags: 

I’ve been using categories for organization and navigation (with categories such as “Me,” “I’m Reading,” and “Videos”) even though I don’t write often on these topics. As a result I have 19 (YIKES) categories to pare down. Should I switch some categories to tags? Combine categories? Take some out all together?

The Badass Babes community suggested switching to tags as second-tier organization for topics I don’t blog about often but still want to group. WP Site Care agrees: WordPress categories are used to create groups of content that fit the primary topics of your site…. tags are best used to create groups of content that apply to multiple categories.”

Back-end Category Organization:

I’m hesitant to eliminate categories and lose the organized post groups I’ve created. I asked the Babes: is there a way to hide categories so they don’t display on my sidebar, but I can still access them on the backend for archive/organization purposes?

The Babes said, “yes!” and recommend using a text box in my sidebar to manually link the categories I want to display (rather than use the “Categories” widget which draws on all categories).

Next steps:  Tackle those categories and think hard about what to keep writing. Lesson 3 is in my inbox!

Do you struggle to narrow your focus?

(photo by Eva Jannotta)

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