The problem today is that everyone is using unsolicited advice as their content marketing strategy, and it’s wrecking your self-confidence, self-trust and energy.

The Advice Economy has taken over. Here’s what I’m talking about: the industry that makes money off telling people what to do.

Examples (these are off the cuff, but they’re probably the titles of someone’s blog post or podcast episode): three reasons you need to write every day; how to stand out on social media; why you need to manage your time better; seven steps to writing irresistible emails; five habits you have to break to be successful; why you need to think like a billionaire….

The explosion of coaches and consultants is the culprit: it’s an industry built on telling people what to do.

You, a coach or consultant yourself, might be protesting. That’s not what coaching/consulting is about! It’s about service. It’s about deep listening, open-ended questions and accountability. I don’t tell my clients what to do; I offer them ideas from my expertise, but they decide what to do.

To you I say: either you’re an exception, or your content marketing is a lot more prescriptive than you are.

Now listen, sometimes advice is fine. Sometimes people WANT to be told what to do. But I see too many people doling out constant advice as their main marketing strategy. And it’s draining people of their self-trust and energy. Here’s why it sucks:

1. It’s infantilizing to be told what to do

Remember when you were a kid, and your parents and everyone told you what to do all the time? And then in school, when you were told to learn stuff that you weren’t interested in, or that didn’t seem relevant? Right?

Now you’re a grown-up, and it makes you feel like a kid again when the whole Internet is telling you what to do. (Or is it just me??)

Sometimes work or relationships involves some being-told. Mantra Magazine said it like this:

How to be a grown up at work:

Replace “Fuck you” with “Ok, great”

But the entire Internet telling you what to do? Enough.

2. It implies there’s something wrong

Constant advice implies that you’re doing something wrong. Podcast episodes and blog titles with words like “you must” and “you need” and “you should” suggest that if you’re NOT doing those things, you’re really screwing yourself over.

But the advice that coaches and consultants dole out does not and cannot know your unique situation. Their advice might be a completely off-brand, of off-putting, or a terrible fit for your clients or budget or phase of business. Giving advice is not a conversation and the advice isn’t tailored to your experience or instincts or preferences.

Quartz at Work featured this article by Ephrat Livni: All career advice for women is a form of gaslighting. Maybe all advice is a form of gaslighting? Enough.

3. Progress is not linear

My final issue (for now) with the advice economy is that progress, growth and success are not linear. Seven steps to writing irresistible emails might help you write some emails, but to truly write irresistible emails in your voice with your touch that you enjoy that the people on your list enjoy is not a seven-step process.

It takes time, patience and experimentation to progress. Everybody seems to love a good listicle, but listicles are a dupe: they make complex processes seem simple, so when you inevitably struggle to implement the whatever, you feel like it’s your fault.

All this advice, all the “shoulds” and “musts” and “need tos” are pervasive because they prey on our insecurities (Aah! What am I doing wrong!?) and our drive to improve (Aah! How can I be doing this better!?). In short, they work. They get clicks and downloads.

And, many times, they DO give you a good idea, a nugget of wisdom, a new tactic. It’s not that the advice is ineffective, it’s that that there’s too much and it helps people by making them feel bad.

What if you only got advice when you ASKED for it? What if your inbox and social media feeds and podcast app somehow shielded you from unsolicited here’s-what-you-need-to-do, so that you only got advice when you Googled your question or asked your coach?

Would you download that advice-blocking plugin? Patent pending. 😉