How do you know if what you’re doing is working?
How do you know if what you’re doing is right?
It comes down to the signs you’re looking for, doesn’t it? They could be marketing metrics like leads or engagement, or approval from other people, or the opportunity you wanted.
I get fixated on specific signs. I’ll know my LinkedIn post is good IF AND ONLY IF people comment on it, click it and like it. I’ll know I’m offering the right services IF AND ONLY IF the woman I just met seems impressed. I’ll know I’m good at my work IF AND ONLY IF my client showers me with appreciation.
I am diagnosing myself with validation tunnel vision.
I go after something I want – a new client, a speaking opportunity, a Facebook Live interview – and if I don’t get what I want in exactly the way I imagined it, I failed. Right?
But what if…
What if I used a validation wide-angle lens? Could I take a panoramic view of metrics, signs and feedback?
- The prospective client said no, but told me to keep in touch with her. It’s a sign that what I’m offering is valuable to someone she knows, or might be valuable to her later.
- My speaking pitch wasn’t accepted, but they asked me to be a back-up. That means my pitch was pretty good, and worth continuing to pitch.
- I didn’t get the Facebook Live interview, but I got an actual human response offering to introduce me to someone else. So my show sounds valuable and appealing to people!
Could you consciously widen your view to find signs of validation and encouragement? Perhaps all our negativity-biased brains need is encouragement and practice to find confirmation that what we’re doing is right and working.
Why should I wish to see God better than this day?
I see something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass;
I find letters from God dropped in the street, and every one is signed by God’s name,
And I leave them where they are,
for I know that others will punctually come forever and ever. – Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
Other signs of validation and confirmation will punctually come forever and ever – if you look for them.
PS this post was inspired by a conversation with my friend Sarah <3
