What do you want?
Mel Robbins says to be selfish. Don’t make it sound good, and don’t think about what would impress other people. Be honest. Is it to lose weight? Volunteer abroad? Stay home with your kids? Learn to cook?
Mel also says, pick something. “People don’t pick.”
I asked my roommate how to tell what you really want. He said, “the thing that won’t let you sleep because you want it so bad.” I rarely have trouble sleeping, but I think I know what he means. It’s the thing you’ve had in the back of your mind for years, maybe since you were a child. It’s the thing you daydream about while commuting or falling asleep. Maybe it’s the thing you’ve never told anyone, because it’s so important.
I was mulling over this topic when I came upon an excerpt from Gala Darling’s interview with Danielle LaPorte. Perfect timing. These stellar women talk about what to do “when you don’t have a clue,” and how to take the first step.
From Danielle:
“Clueless [about what you want to do]? I don’t think so. Somewhere inside of you, you know what lights you up…. Believe that you already know… in your body, your fantasies, the people you envy, your journal, your childhood, your longings, the things you would do if you were fearless, if money were no object… What you want to do is there… and every time you deny that, you shrink a little bit.”
She also talks about option paralysis, and echoes Mel in saying, “pick something. Just pick anything. Eventually you will fail, so get it out of the way… You’re going to learn the same kind of lessons you need no matter what you choose.”
But it’s hard to pick, isn’t it? There are dozens of things to do. If you feel stuck, consider the following:
Fearing of commitment: “Renaissance Woman” is a compliment, but the mindset to try everything could be fear’s way of preventing you from doing anything. Not doing something is still an action. Danielle says, “remember that motion is better than stasis. Doing something is better than doing nothing.”
It’s all an experiment: View your ventures as experiments, not absolutes. You can change gears any time. With equal parts curiosity and commitment you can try things to see how they work, and avoid devastation when some things inevitably fail. Shrug. It was an experiment! On to the next.
What’s your business model? It’s simple to think about what you would do if money were no object. But money IS an object, and buying groceries should be factored in to your decisions. So consider where the money comes from when you choose what to do. If it means working part time while you build to your goals, go for it.
Be selfish, be brave (you don’t have to tell anyone): what really “lights you up”? That’s what you want.
(photo source here.)
