Years ago, my friend Karen (not that kind of Karen) and I were walking and talking about our mothers. We were talking this phenomenon, which will probably be familiar to you:
You have opinions — a book you love, a style you don’t, a decision you’re proud you made. You feel grounded in those opinions, and then your mom says:
- I didn’t like the book. The protagonist was self-centered
- I love full-body denim coveralls. They’re practical and have a working-class history
- Are you sure about that for the kids?
Suddenly, the opinions you felt unflinchingly confident in moments ago are shaken. It makes you wonder: do I even HAVE my own opinions, if they’re so easily swayed by someone else’s?
I call the phenomenon opinion-jacking.
The same thing happens in thought leadership.
Thought leadership opinion-jacking happens when you read, hear, or watch something that turns the volume on the voice inside you — the one that mockingly whispers some variation of you’re wrong, you’re not enough for this, no one will agree with you — up to eleven.
It feels like a sinking in your gut. It feels like the whine and hiss of air deflating from a balloon. It feels like every uncertainty you’ve had has a megaphone.
It’s also 1000% normal and inevitable.
We must treat it as an ally, a friend. We must greet it with open acceptance. We must let it fuel us.
Opinion-jacking Served Hot and Cold
For me, opinion-jacking happens in two ways:
- It makes me doubt myself. If I hear a perspective that counters my own, it makes my question if my own is wrong — even though all my experiences, instincts, and values haven’t changed.
- It makes me envy others. If I hear a perspective that echoes my own but from someone more well-known or more experienced, then I feel competitive, as though sharing an opinion with others somehow dilutes it.
Both of these need a reframe to fuel me.
Dying on an Old Hill
There is no power in refusing to update your opinions. “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks” is a lie. Your thought leadership will evolve as you do. Let’s not die on the hill of old convictions because someone might not like that we changed our minds.
Openness to new information and forming new opinions is how the greatest discoveries in science, medicine, and many other realms were made. Being open to new opinions is strength.
Dividing and Conquering
We’re born into a culture that has competition deeply embedded in the water supply. It takes a loooooot of practice to let it go. Of course there’s healthy competition, but when it comes to opinion-jacking most competitiveness divides and conquers.
Whom do I serve by being possessive of my opinions? By envying people whose opinions echo my own? Those are my partners. Those are my collaborators. Those are people fighting the good fight.
Your Sharpest Thought Leadership Tool
When I feel opinion-jacking creep over me, I take some deep breaths. I ask myself, what can I learn here?
Curiosity is your sharpest thought leadership tool.
You’re here to serve, not win. You’re here to change things — and you will change, too. You’re here to defy the status quo (envy and self-doubt), amplify your influence (with your opinions and leadership) and expand your wealth and power (to wield them like the sword of justice).
That’s how we let opinion-jacking fuel us, not diminish us. Imagine opening your arms to whatever you’re watching/reading/listening to. Let it wash over you like a wave.
Your thought leadership has cycles. Sometimes it’s bearing fruit. Sometimes the old parts are withering and dying off. Sometimes it’s hibernating in fertile soil of ideas and influences and conversations. And when it blooms anew… spring will never be the same.
It’s Time to Bloom
I often hear the questions, how do I make my thought leadership more magnetic? How do I SAY THE THINGS I’m here to say? I created a short email course with the answers. The 5 Pillars of Magnetic Thought Leadership shows you how to cultivate your thought leadership to stand out as yours. It gives you the elements your thought leadership needs to attract the people who want to work with you (and repel the others). It’s called:
The 5 Pillars of Magnetic Thought Leadership.
It’s free, it’s 5 lessons, and it’s got exercises, examples, and insights to make your thought leadership magnetic (and I don’t think it’ll jack any of your opinions, but if it does you know what to do 😉).
Click here to join the free email course, 5magneticpillars.com.
